What To Teach My Kids
My Dear Lady
I want to start by asking this question, do I really care about the well being of my children? What to teach my kids to become well balanced adults? There is no training or teaching how to raise respectable children. Where do I begin to understand what is expected of a parent?
The first thing to realise is, happiness comes from within, you can’t buy happiness. It is a feeling bubbling up from within. The most valuable thing to do, is to teach them to be happy, with life skills that create confidence and make the difference.
Skills that will secure happiness in their relationships, skills to contribute to their success and social skills to find a place in society. How do I raise a child to be respectful and a respected citizen?
We are going to discuss options how to achieve this momentous task.
What To Teach My Kids
My Happiness Skills Account
Did you know, all your relationships have a bank account? Yes, it is called your Emotional Bank Account. Whether it is a love relationship, a family or social relationship, all needs deposits. The concept is to deposit first before you can withdraw.
How do I teach my child to make these deposits for his own happiness? Respect for himself and respect for others and respect for things lies at the core of it. From a very young age teach them with images to understand the concept.
The Practical Way
On paper draw a heart and colour the left side red making it look full, and leave the other side white look empty. Telling them there is a way to make the whole heart full, by putting more in than taking out. Also use the example of a basin, when the tap pours water into the basin it gets full but when you pull the plug it runs empty.
To illustrate the meaning, draw three lines to the left hand side of the heart with arrows, pointing to the red side, depositing into the heart and making it full. Add pictures that show love and affection.
Paste for instance images of a parent hugging or reading a story or playing with a child, any interaction that makes them happy. This is the way to make the heart full.
On the right hand side you draw lines with arrows pointing away from the heart, explaining this is draining the heart, making it empty.
Paste pictures of a child with a crying grumpy face, two kids fighting over a toy and a parent reprimanding a child for being disobedient. Add your own negative images to illustrate.
This will help them understand the emotions, I have to contribute too and not only withdraw. Teach them how they can deposit into this Emotional Bank Account.
Being happy, obedient, helpful with little tasks, being part of your team, laughing a lot and to be fun, showing love and affection with hugs and kisses, acting in a way to make others happy.
As they grow older keep reminding them to rather step back and think twice before they act or react. A spoken word or deed can never be taken back.
Making them understand the concept of deposits. Before they can draw from this emotional account is important to make contributions.
Teach them to be kind, make this awareness a lifestyle.
What To Teach My Kids
Skills for My Success Account
Success means different things to different people. To accomplish the dreams they have, is success. There are certain rules to follow before you get that success.
The best thing is to teach them there is no such thing as luck! Only hard work makes it happen. From the outside it might look like luck, but only you know the secret.
A lotto mentality leads to procrastination and anticipation that will get you nowhere.
The skills that form the pillars of success are Dedication, Determination, Discipline, and Persistence.
Children learn these skills at home by doing chores around the house from a young age, making it more as they grow older. Doing household tasks to help around the house is a must.
Praising for a job well done and a small reward is showing them gratitude and motivate them to do it the best they can. It teaches them responsibility and all the pillars of success.
Teach them what is work-ethics. It is a set of values based on good habits such as focusing, staying motivated and finishing tasks as soon as possible. This helps to create a good work ethic that will impress. It installs self-pride. When you start a project, finish it, you don’t stop until it is done.
Get them excited and make them love Maths. At a young age teach them the times tables off by heart, by asking and they give the answers. Make it a game while busy with other things or driving somewhere. Let them challenge you too.
Lead them to be curious in many ways and let them get creative. Ask them how do they like something and why? Challenge them to push their boundaries and to come up with solutions to problems. Stimulate their thoughts with What do you think?
Read, Read, Read. Let them know, knowledge is power, it is the best gift you can give your child. Find books on the interest they have and let them explore. Reading everyday, even just for 15 minutes to learn something new sets you apart.
Have conversations with your kids on different subjects and ask them their opinions. Ask why, how and what, and let them explain to you their point of view.
If they want something or do something out of the ordinary, always ask them why they want it. Discuss it and let them justify to you their reasons why. If they can convince you they can have it. It teaches them to debate with reasoning their point and not just demand.
The magic of teaching them failing is not a bad thing teaches them persistence. Never give up or stop until they found a way. Get up and try again, this is the road to success. It helps to find the best way to do a task. This experience helps them grow and pursue their goals diligently.
When your kids deposit these skills into their Success Account, completing tasks successfully with effort skill or courage it has to surface as a success.
What To Teach My Kids
My Social skills Account
We are all social beings and want to find a place in society. Guiding your children to fit into society is establishing their self-worth.
The most important social skill, is to develop values that define acceptable behaviour. What is acceptable behaviour? Cultural norms set the way of behaviour, every culture has it’s own.
Create values to be an asset to the community. Being able to cooperate and collaborate with others as a team for the benefit of the community.
As a home team you and your partner should have established these values before the kids were born. You should know what the family rules will be, and lead by example.
Good manners is first on the list. Kids have to learn to be polite and friendly. Never a goody-two-shoes or agree with everything and everybody.
Be an individualist with their own informed opinion and always be diplomatic in your actions, never dominating or overpowering.
When they get older, teach your child to be a good listener and never to talk too much. Listen to everybody and be the last to speak.
Make your child aware to watch people’s behaviour closely, See how they act or react, their body language, facial expression and posture to name a few. This can tell you a lot of a certain situation without a word spoken.
Teach them confidentiality. They have to learn that certain issues are private and never to be told outside the house. Be able to keep a secret no matter what. They have to learn to listen but not to hear it. As adults they will need that.
Teach your kids to live with integrity. It is a lifestyle. Teach them the meaning of each of the following, honest, truthful, respectful, loyal, reliable and responsible, accountable and to be compassionate. Live a life that is an example to your kids, because they live by example.
Choose friends with care, they are an extension of who you are. The best way is to choose friends with the same interests and values, discuss it with the kids and why. Set an example at home when choosing family friends.
When having a conversation always look the person in the eye, it shows confidence and honesty, you have nothing to hide. Always address a person with his name or title.
Address the use of alcohol, discuss it with your child. Discuss the danger of the abuse of alcohol, and how easy it can get out of hand. The social and financial impact it has on a family.
Talk about sex and behaviour in love relationships. Set healthy norms with respect at the centre and discuss why it is important. Let the children hear it from you and not from friends or the media.
What To Teach My Kids
Your kids will be thankful to you for ever for introducing them to all these skills. Helping them and teaching them to master these skills to become happy, successful, respected citizens and a cornerstone in society.
If you don’t do it, they might blame you for negligence. They are borrowed to you only for 18 years, make the most of it, thereafter they are their own person.
Until next time, take care.